Merry Xmas 2024!

In celebration, let me regale you with a few thoughts about my all-time favorite holiday record.

(l-r) Darlene Love, various Wrecking Crew horn players, Phil Spector and Jack Nietzsche make rock ‘n’ roll history

Seasons greetings, Napalm Nation! We made it another year, giving me the chance to trot out my old joke “Merry Xmas (birthday of noted Messiah, Jesus X.),” hoping it finally catches on this time!

In years past, I shared annotated Xmas playlists, because as I’ve detailed before, I don’t hate the holidays or the music, just the treacly Norman Luboff Choir version of the same. You can find 2022’s playlist here, and 2023’s aqui.

This year, I’m shaking things up. My buddy Dan Epstein, owner/operator of the ultrafine Jagged Time Lapse, asked a bunch of his fellow ‘Stackateers—such good folks as Joe Bonomo and Lori Christian—to write about our favorite Xmas records. You can find the delightful results here.

Being the verbose sonofabitch I am, I wrote far more than Dan could fit. He ran just 100 choice words in his post and suggested I run the unexpurgated take here, for your discerning and exquisite tastes, My Dear Readers. And so, I proudly present:

“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love

From A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector (Philles Records), 1963

First of all, can we talk about the sheer arrogance Phil Spector displayed in the naming of this album? He’d already revolutionized rock ‘n’ roll with his bombastic, Wagnerian Wall of Sound productions for The Crystals and The Ronettes. And if you listen to The Ronettes’ pre-”Be My Baby” Colgems recordings, it’s clear that Spector’s production and his material were what mattered most—an inconvenient truth for those who, in the wake of his conviction for Lana Clarkson’s murder, tried to rewrite history and erase his role in these masterpieces.

Released on November 22, 1963—the day JFK was assassinated—it’s no wonder A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector was overlooked. At the time, only obsessives scanning Philles 45 credits knew Spector’s name. Tom Wolfe hadn’t yet immortalized him in his classic New York magazine profile, “The First Tycoon Of Teen.” To most, this was a record by The Ronettes, The Crystals, and other familiar faces. They had no idea who this Phil guy was with his name above the stars, and worse yet, delivering a maudlin “holiday message” of hammy faux sincerity over a syrupy instrumental take of “Silent Night.” You can practically hear the eye rolls around the world.

Two tracks before that closing sour note, a masterpiece: Darlene Love—Spector’s favorite singer before discovering Veronica Bennett, AKA The Ronettes’ Ronnie Spector—delivering a holiday heartache epic written by Spector with Ellie Greenwich and Jeff Barry. As The Wrecking Crew delivers grandly, inappropriately jaunty uptown rhythm & blues backing, Love stands in the middle of Gold Star Studio’s celebrated echo chamber, tearing your heart apart in 32 places: “They're singing ‘Deck the Halls’/But it's not like Christmas at all/'Cause I remember when you were here/And all the fun we had last year.” Her near hysterical closing plea for her absent lover’s return—the “please” in “baby, please come home” repeated five times, each more desperate than the last—wounds you in ways you’ll never recover from.

Spector should have ended the album on “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home).” It was A Christmas Gift’s crown jewel. There’s no way Bob B. Soxx & the Blue Jeans’ ridiculously upbeat “Here Comes Santa Claus” and that dogshit “Silent Night” could follow it. They were mortally wounded by Darlene’s performance alone, and Spector knew it. His ego would not admit it, though.

Honestly, Spector should’ve scrapped the whole damn tracklist. Just release “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)” as a single and be done with it. It would’ve topped charts worldwide, and hell—we wouldn’t have even needed The Beatles to save rock ‘n’ roll the next year. It might be Phil Spector’s greatest record ever, seasonal or otherwise. He didn’t know it. But we do. And it’s my favorite Christmas record, period. Amen.

A Christmas Gift (for Us Both): Support The Tim “Napalm” Stegall Substack

Napalm Nation, it’s no secret that running The Tim “Napalm” Stegall Substack takes heart, soul, and, yes, reader support. If this post (or any of my work) has given you a moment of joy, insight, or pure punk fury this year, here’s the best Xmas gift you could give—to yourself and to me.

Option 1: The Holiday Subscription Special
Through December 31st, I’m running a 20%-off-for-life Holiday Subscription Special. This is perfect for new paying subscribers or free subscribers ready to upgrade and support the work I do year-round.

Option 2: The Lifetime Subscription via GoFundMe
For those looking to go a step further, I’ve been running a GoFundMe campaign to pay off back rent. With $1295 raised so far, we’re still a ways from closing the gap. Here’s the deal:

• Sign up for a free subscription.

• Donate $50 or more to https://gofund.me/6ed3b451

• Send me a private message here to let me know you’ve contributed.

• I’ll gift you a full lifetime subscription to The Tim “Napalm” Stegall Substack as a thank-you.

This Substack thrives on readers who believe in fearless, unfiltered music journalism—and the occasional deep dive into why Phil Spector should’ve just released “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” as a standalone masterpiece. Your support lets me keep this DIY dream alive.

From the bottom of my blackened but grateful heart, thank you. Let’s keep this train rolling into 2025 and beyond.

Happy Holidays,
Tim “Napalm” Stegall

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