Batting Cleanup In The Cultural Pipeline II

No, last week was hardly a normal week here at The Tim “Napalm” Stegall Substack. So here’s a couple of short-takes to launch this week, plus a new subscription offer.

Green Bay, Wisconsin’s Smart Shoppers lead the Dorkwave revolution via a YouTube screengrab, the Rev. Norb at left.

Greetings, my Substack friends and readers! Many apologies for the lack of posts last week. Between SPOT passing away and suddenly getting the financing together to move back into Austin, last week was a wash. I was lucky to get off the SPOT obituary. I do have to thank you all, nevertheless. At 691 total views, it is the most-read post here at this Substack, beating out the previously most-popular – and first – post, the opening manifesto, which only generated a paltry 558 views. I jest, of course. I also understand, considering this Substack currently has 316 subscribers – 62 of whom hold paid subscriptions (and I thank you for that!) – and the average post generates 350 views? We nearly doubled our readership at least this one time via extensive sharing and reposting by other friends and admirers of SPOT. I genuinely appreciate that, and do hope you continue reading this Substack.

And yes, after nearly six months occupying sometime TTNS Substack photographer Tim Couch’s (AHEM!) couch in Kyle, TX., a partial advance on a book deal still in the works (which means I am not ready to make a public announcement yet on the subject matter) came through. It enabled me to move back into Austin Proper, in roughly the same neighborhood off East 12th I occupied in 2014 and 2015. My roommates? Ron Williams, my longtime bass-thumping and harmonizing partner in The Hormones, and our mutual long-running pal Capt. Aaron. I’m digging it, thus far: It feels like a punk rock commune, but cleaner! I only have what things I had with me at Couch’s place, primarily some clothes and my guitars. The furniture and most boxes in storage come in Monday. I will be happy to sleep in my own bed again. I’m sure Ron will be relieved to have my desk again, at least. Not sure how he feels about me tapping away on my laptop at the dining table, mere yards from his bedroom door, as The Move blasts from my room. 

But yes, all this activity, and my mental state at losing my friend, meant all my Substack plans for last week got shoved aside. So things like the planned first installment of my interview with Ramones tour manager Monte A. Melnick were pushed up to this week. And to all the clients expecting bios or press releases last week: Your pieces will be delivered this week. Thank you for your understanding in advance.

To kickstart this week’s festivities, please enjoy a pair of shorter pieces. To commemorate the launch later this week of that Monte A. Melnick interview – which, like all interviews, will be available strictly to paid subscribers – I am offering a GABBA GABBA HEY! Special on annual subscriptions: 25% of the normal yearly subscription price of $50! (And yes, the annual sub went down $40 itself at the beginning of the year! That rate will adjust when previous subscribers re-up this year.) Enjoy!

Standing Over By The Record Machine: The Smart Shoppers retool new wave to Oughties garage specs

THE SMART SHOPPERS – Dorkwave (Bulge Records) CD

Unpacking at the New (Austin) Napalm HQ, I came across a clutch of CDs that I’d brought with me to Kyle to review, but am only now coming across! Which is kinda embarrassing, but it was hard to see what I had when trying to keep my stuff in big Tupperware tubs while occupying someone’s living room. So it’s kinda awesome, because now there’s all this cool music to write about! Big win, right?

First thing falling outta the stash: A new(-ish) band featuring that urbane Midwestern punk polymath the Rev. Norb – musician (Suburban Mutilation, Depo Provera, Boris The Sprinkler, Rev. Norb And The Onions), writer/’zinester (Sick/Sic Teen, plus columnist for MRR and Razorcake), mogul (Bulge Records and Books), and surely a few etceteras. Norbie’s been putting Green Bay, Wisconsin on the map since the early ‘80s with his rockin’, cartoonish, Pixy Stix-fueled genius, and the world’s all the better for it.

His new outfit, The Smart Shoppers, differs on so many levels. For one, it’s not really his band, as in he is strictly the bass player (under the nom de Shopper Norbie Shopko), not singing or fronting this bunch. For another, it’s far from the driving, melodic punk rock most of his bands have practiced, or even the grinding hardcore of his first band, Suburban Mutilation. The Smart Shoppers can only be described as lo-fi garage new wave, like low budget DEVO, perhaps. 

Over Jash Thrift’s driving drums, no one plays a single chord. All instruments – bass/guitar/keytar(!!)  – play single note lines in unison, following the melodies warbled by singer/keytarist/SR-404-ist/kazoo-ist/slide whistler Joey Shops. The words delivered by melodies? Things like, “You’re so very funky/Give me all your monkey/You’re so very snarky/Report you to the parkie.” All while wearing sweater vests, argyle socks, etc., etc. – Dorkwave, indeed.

It’s all quite diggable. The Smart Shoppers are something fresh, something refreshing, something unexpected, and not just because it’s the Rev. Norb playing new wave. The vacuuming goes far faster when this CD plays! The Smart Shoppers – a prime energy source to drive your housework! By gum! By golly!

Putting On The Feedbag: Pizza Hut’s Big New Yorker is more “New York-ish” pizza than proper New York pizza

But it’s still damned good eatin’!

Okay, I’ll say it: I love pizza. I know – that’s like announcing you breathe oxygen and have ten fingers and ten toes. Who doesn’t love pizza?

Thing is, the pie has to be a rare indulgence. I put on 50 pounds during COVID, from digging in and learning to cook for my honey and me all this Southern comfort food my Granny used to make. But I also have taken 20 of it off since summer 2021, which would have been impossible had I not dropped pizza from my menu.

But living in New York, NY during the first five years of the new century, walking everywhere because it’s NYC, and having the metabolism of a teenager, I practically lived off pizza. New York, after all, is home to the best pizza in the world (unless we’re talking pizza margherita, in which case New York can suck Italy’s exhaust)(although I did have really credible/delicious pizza margherita at La Focaccia on a recent San Antonio fact-finding mission, which I should perhaps write about). So when I saw Pizza Hut had revived The Big New Yorker, their attempt at NYC pie, I had to suffer for my art and/or Substack and order one.

“6 XL SLICES,” the box shouts. The entire pie is 16” round, based on the thin, semi-crisp/semi-doughy crust for which New York pizza is famous, with slices bigger than your head, suitable for folding. The sauce held all the sweetness of Stromboli on 83 St. Mark’s Place, and it contrasted nicely with the pepperoni, providing a nice sweet-n-savory taste. 

Verdict? Well, perhaps The Big New Yorker should be called “New York-ish” pizza. As it is, the box and promo literature skirts the issue nicely by calling it “New York-inspired.” NYC-style pizza is hard to get right, due to the famous mineral content of New York City water. It contributes to both the taste and texture of the pizza dough. It is such a crucial component of the pie, one Los Angeles pizzeria had the water analyzed so they could “create” their own “New York water” for their dough recipe. Pizza Hut comes close with The Big New Yorker. But this is not the exact same animal. Some might argue, “Whaddaya expect outta Pizza Hut?!” Point taken, but of all the national pizza chains, I prefer The Hut. And The Big New Yorker is still good enough to at least induce a little nostalgia. And that’s good enough. It’ll probably be back off the menu by the next time I have pizza. So this will do.

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